Life’s Lessons: Going to the Dogs

…

The big day arrived right on time. At 0830, the back door swung open and my granddaughter and her mom swarmed in from the morning chill. My daughter had an early meeting at her office and all the good childcare people in her life had suddenly moved out of state. I was all she had left.

My daughter flung Sophia’s backpack onto the hearth, blurted out a lifetime of child rearing instructions, hugged and kissed everyone several times and “Poof!” She was gone.

I wasted no time implementing my cunning plan.

Step 1 was breakfast of cereal and fruit. At the end of the day, Sophia reported to mommy “we had breakfast with dessert.” I can live with that.

Step 2 began as a surprise ride in Grandfather’s truck. We went directly to the largest store with the largest toy department in the area, Super Target. I put the little girl in the basket seat and off we went. After travelling about twenty feet, she spotted a display of “Stickers.” With Valentine’s Day almost upon us, I could not resist her request to “pull over!” After considering her choices, she picked out some princess stickers for herself and a batch of care bear stickers for her big brother. “Aw, how thoughtful,” I reflected.

Step 3 involved slowly making our way along every aisle in the toy department. Most of the “toys” currently for sale would give nightmares to a combat Marine. It took quite a bit of searching before we discovered a box of puzzles with a princess motif for my granddaughter. Not wanting to be left out, I added a deluxe Wiffle Ball set to the basket. We have needed one of these for several years, y’know.

Step 4 was lunch. I was really in the mood for Bar-B-Que, so I headed for “Memphis Red Hot ‘n Blue.” (MRH&B) I was sure we could find something for Sophia, too.

We did. She slurped her milk and snacked on cheese fries until her creamy macaroni and cheese arrived with a side of, you guessed it, more French fries. I will not even attempt to describe my meal. If you have even been to MRH&B, you can imagine. If not, you would never understand. [urp.]

Step 5 should have been a nap, but it was not. Instead, we visited Remus the dog at my son’s house. It was a stroke of luck that Sophia’s boy cousins, August and Joshua, had just awakened from their naps when we arrived. The two boys and the two girls, Sophia and Remus, played at full throttle for the next two hours. The entire mansion shook in their gleeful swath of destruction. My son and I sat in the den, watching TV and dozing as peacefully as we could under the circumstances. After about two hours, I captured my charge and ruined their fun. After lots of hugging and waving, we pulled out of the driveway and headed home.

Step 6 began when we reached my dwelling on the edge of the forest. We were both showing signs of fatigue. I prepared cookies and milk for my girl and set about picking up some debris in the den.

A small voice said “Grandfather, I frew up.”

“Huh?” I said, looking around.

“I frew up.”

Then, I looked down. “What happened?”

“I frew up, Grandfather.”

She was drooling and her little eyes were watery. Clearly, she did not feel well.

“Uh Oh. Where did you throw up, sweetie?”

“Right there,” she said indicating the floor between us.

Well, it was not my office, so she got credit there. It was only the carpet in the den. As I considered my next move, Sophia stuck her delicate finger down her throat and began again.

“NOOOOOooooo!” I said as soothingly as I could.