…
Despite a life that often mimics a Chinese Fire Drill; I had the pleasure of entertaining one of my three favorite grandsons (so far) over a recent weekend. August, AKA “Augie”, showed up on Saturday afternoon. The usual activities entertained us; reading, jigsaw puzzles (He is a 3-year-old jigsaw genius.), movies and eating from the pantry of goodies. Finally, around eight o’clock, we agreed it was time for bed. Augie wanted to sleep in the “big bed” with Grandfather. I said okay. We both looked forward to a restful ten hours of shut-eye. Instead, we had the following conversation, beginning roughly at lights-out.
“Gwandfather?”
“Yes, Augie.”
“Gwandfather, I’m not comfortable.”
“Okay, find a position that is comfortable.
Augie began flopping, rolling and flailing about under – and above – the covers. This continued for about 20 minutes. After that, we had ten minutes of quiet and stillness.
“Gwandfather, I am thirsty.”
“Huh? Oh. Okay. Just let me turn on the water drinking light…”
I snapped on the bedside lamp and picked up the large glass of water I keep beside the bed. I held it out for the boy and he eagerly slurped it up.
“Had enough? Okay then, let’s get back to sleeping. Close those eyes, now,” I admonished gently. I fell into a deep sleep, almost instantly.
“Gwandfather?”
“Yes, Augie?”
“Gwandfather, I dreamed a bear took the underwear off the triceratops horn and ripped them all up.”
"That’s nice. Let’s not worry about that right now, okay? Let’s get a little sleep. How does that sound?"
He agreed and we fell asleep, I think.
“Gwandfather, it is morning. Can we get up now?”
“What the…” I squinted at the clock with sleep-drugged eyes. It said it was 2:20 A.M. “Augie, it IS technically morning, but it is still time to sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s time to get up, okay?"
He agreed and we laid our sleep heads on the pillows once more.
"Gwandfather, I' thirsty."
"Okay, I'll get the water."
"Gwandfather, you forgot to turn on the water drinking light."
"We don't need it. Just feel around with your lips until you find the glass."
I shoved the water glass in his general direction. After a few seconds, his little lips latched onto the glass and the slurping resumed.
"Have you had enough?"
"Yes, Gwandfather. Thank you."
"Okay. G'night, Augie. Sweet dreams."
“Raaarrrrhhh!.”
"Eeaaarrgggh! What the [bleep] was that?”
“That is the sound my dragon makes.”
Augie held up a shadowy figure of a plush dragon. It was one of a dozen little stuffed friends helping him get comfortable.
“Okay, let the dragon have a little rest, too, okay? Please?” I crashed.
"Gwandfather, what was that sound?"
"Oh, probably just some old man, tying a noose to the ceiling fan. It is nothing to worry about. Now, let’s see who can pretend to be asleep the longest.” [z]
“Snoooorrrt! My nose is clogged up.”
“So I hear. Would you like some nose spray? I have some saline spray to make it better."
He declined, graciously and said he would be fine without it. I collapsed onto the pillow.
"Snoooorrrt!"
"I’m cold."
“Here let me help you get under the covers. If you are still cold, you can snuggle up with me and I’ll keep you warm.”
With that, Augie began wiggling and kicking under the covers. When he stopped an hour later, he was snuggled against my back with his elbows and knees planted firmly in my kidneys and spine. I was still half-asleep and willing to settle.
“My little tummy is growling. It sounds like this: Grrrrrble, Gurgle.”
“Say, that’s a pretty good impression. I guess that means your tummy is sleepy, right?”
“No, that means my tummy is hungry.”
“We’ll have breakfast soon. Just let me lie here awhile longer,” I begged.
“Gwandfather?”
“Yes, Augie?”
“I tooted.”
“Okay, let’s go see what’s for breakfast…”
We walked down the stairs and waded in to a new day. We ate hearty, played indoors and out. I even managed to stay awake long enough to read a story or two. Eventually, the gods showed mercy and Augie’s mother retrieved him. He pretended he didn't want to go, but I told him we have to bear up under adversity, like big boys.
It was a challenge, but I am happy we did it. It makes the rest of my life seem so much easier.
…
Monday, April 18, 2011
U.S. Economy Circles Drain?
…
Recently, it occurred to me that we may be in more trouble than we know. Over the weekend, I had an opportunity to reflect on the Congressional approach to cutting a relatively small amount of money from the current budget. Overall, it was an unflattering spectacle. There were plenty of threats, name-calling and outrage on every side of the issue. Every party stretched truth beyond recognition and lies hovered near the lips of the speakers.
It was only at the last minute that the parties reached agreement. I am sure the nation sighed with relief, as did I.
The next hurdle for our federal government is the debt ceiling. Since we are in the hole for more than $14 trillion, what harm could come from borrowing another trillion or two? I expect very little.
Then, the notion crossed my mind that the harm lies in the process. As nervous creditors watch, our Congress may put on another “show” over this issue, too. Then, at a quarter ‘til midnight, they’ll announce an agreement. It will be too late.
I imagined the emotions and judgments a serious creditor might make while watching the federal circus, day after day. The thought made me queasy. What would it do for the sensitive digestive tracts of, say, the Chinese? I hope they have a large wok handy as they watch. I can imagine them needing a wash-up before meeting to decide what to do – days or weeks before the deadline.
Then I imagined a large container ship might sail into the Port of L.A. a week later. The cargo of redeemed U.S. Treasuries would have the ship decks awash under the load. In a few more days, trillions of dollars in U.S. currency would arrive at a port in China, say, Shanghai.
Then? Well, let’s just say our debt problem would be less, but we might soon feel nostalgia for $5.00 per gallon gasoline.
Gee. I truly hope I am wrong about this. Or, maybe not.
…
Recently, it occurred to me that we may be in more trouble than we know. Over the weekend, I had an opportunity to reflect on the Congressional approach to cutting a relatively small amount of money from the current budget. Overall, it was an unflattering spectacle. There were plenty of threats, name-calling and outrage on every side of the issue. Every party stretched truth beyond recognition and lies hovered near the lips of the speakers.
It was only at the last minute that the parties reached agreement. I am sure the nation sighed with relief, as did I.
The next hurdle for our federal government is the debt ceiling. Since we are in the hole for more than $14 trillion, what harm could come from borrowing another trillion or two? I expect very little.
Then, the notion crossed my mind that the harm lies in the process. As nervous creditors watch, our Congress may put on another “show” over this issue, too. Then, at a quarter ‘til midnight, they’ll announce an agreement. It will be too late.
I imagined the emotions and judgments a serious creditor might make while watching the federal circus, day after day. The thought made me queasy. What would it do for the sensitive digestive tracts of, say, the Chinese? I hope they have a large wok handy as they watch. I can imagine them needing a wash-up before meeting to decide what to do – days or weeks before the deadline.
Then I imagined a large container ship might sail into the Port of L.A. a week later. The cargo of redeemed U.S. Treasuries would have the ship decks awash under the load. In a few more days, trillions of dollars in U.S. currency would arrive at a port in China, say, Shanghai.
Then? Well, let’s just say our debt problem would be less, but we might soon feel nostalgia for $5.00 per gallon gasoline.
Gee. I truly hope I am wrong about this. Or, maybe not.
…
Thursday, April 7, 2011
5 Year Old's First Job
...
My friend Odis sent this. I think you will like it, provided you have not seen it recently. Me? I am hiding my own Easter eggs, so what do I know.
Here it is:
Here's a truly heart warming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
“ Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."
...
My friend Odis sent this. I think you will like it, provided you have not seen it recently. Me? I am hiding my own Easter eggs, so what do I know.
Here it is:
Here's a truly heart warming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
“ Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."
...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Blank Page
…
This Christmas past, “Santa” brought me some new bicycle clothing. It is the real stuff, too. High tech and form fitting (oh, no) it is stylishly black with large chartreuse panels fore and aft on the jersey. These highly visible panels cry out for an inscription.
I have considered selling advertising on the space, but dismissed the idea. Who would buy it? A “Fat Farm,” perhaps? Maybe a cardiologist would be interested. You know, "Don't let this happen to you!"
Well, forget them. I think I need a more direct and useful message. I can put two messages on the jersey, one in front and another in back.
Right now, I am thinking “Man Down” for one side and possibly “Call 911” on the other.
I admit I may need a little help here. If anyone has a suggestion or two, I would be happy to get it – just post a comment and let me know what you think. Surely, my alert readers can offer some better choices!
…
This Christmas past, “Santa” brought me some new bicycle clothing. It is the real stuff, too. High tech and form fitting (oh, no) it is stylishly black with large chartreuse panels fore and aft on the jersey. These highly visible panels cry out for an inscription.
I have considered selling advertising on the space, but dismissed the idea. Who would buy it? A “Fat Farm,” perhaps? Maybe a cardiologist would be interested. You know, "Don't let this happen to you!"
Well, forget them. I think I need a more direct and useful message. I can put two messages on the jersey, one in front and another in back.
Right now, I am thinking “Man Down” for one side and possibly “Call 911” on the other.
I admit I may need a little help here. If anyone has a suggestion or two, I would be happy to get it – just post a comment and let me know what you think. Surely, my alert readers can offer some better choices!
…
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Tis the Season
...
First, let me say my mother is showing signs of recovery. The rehab center took her off physical and occupational therapy weeks ago. She simply was not fit enough to benefit. Now, they are considering putting her back on.
Her improvement baffles medical science, but not me. During my recent visits, I have adopted the policy of smuggling rich chocolate malteds into her room. She sucks them down as Manna from Heaven, which is practically true.
Since I began, she has recovered her voice (a mixed blessing if ever there was one); she has recovered the use of her left arm and her ability to swallow seems healed – at least during the malt slurping periods.
Next week the therapy staff will reevaluate her abilities and make a judgment on her fitness. Meanwhile, I will be pushing the calories… Heh, heh.
The surprise of the week came from my son. He showed this morning up on a new BMW motorcycle. His lacks a few accessories I consider necessary for real touring, but that can be fixed with the application of $$$. Okay, maybe $,$$$.
For those of you interested in such things, the bike is an 800 cc water-cooled twin cylinder. It is very handsome, handles well (runs like a scalded dog and stops as if it hit a wall.) Ben says he was surprised to find motorcycles could also turn – a feature largely missing on his “old” bike.
To my surprise, it was not expensive as BMW stuff goes. You know, the key fob for $395.00, retail.
So, for you lot who bemoan your inability to hit the road, I suggest you take a look at one of these puppies, provided your wife or girlfriend will allow it. You know who you are.
...
First, let me say my mother is showing signs of recovery. The rehab center took her off physical and occupational therapy weeks ago. She simply was not fit enough to benefit. Now, they are considering putting her back on.
Her improvement baffles medical science, but not me. During my recent visits, I have adopted the policy of smuggling rich chocolate malteds into her room. She sucks them down as Manna from Heaven, which is practically true.
Since I began, she has recovered her voice (a mixed blessing if ever there was one); she has recovered the use of her left arm and her ability to swallow seems healed – at least during the malt slurping periods.
Next week the therapy staff will reevaluate her abilities and make a judgment on her fitness. Meanwhile, I will be pushing the calories… Heh, heh.
The surprise of the week came from my son. He showed this morning up on a new BMW motorcycle. His lacks a few accessories I consider necessary for real touring, but that can be fixed with the application of $$$. Okay, maybe $,$$$.
For those of you interested in such things, the bike is an 800 cc water-cooled twin cylinder. It is very handsome, handles well (runs like a scalded dog and stops as if it hit a wall.) Ben says he was surprised to find motorcycles could also turn – a feature largely missing on his “old” bike.
To my surprise, it was not expensive as BMW stuff goes. You know, the key fob for $395.00, retail.
So, for you lot who bemoan your inability to hit the road, I suggest you take a look at one of these puppies, provided your wife or girlfriend will allow it. You know who you are.
...
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