Camping in with Augie 2.0

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Despite a life that often mimics a Chinese Fire Drill; I had the pleasure of entertaining one of my three favorite grandsons (so far) over a recent weekend. August, AKA “Augie”, showed up on Saturday afternoon. The usual activities entertained us; reading, jigsaw puzzles (He is a 3-year-old jigsaw genius.), movies and eating from the pantry of goodies. Finally, around eight o’clock, we agreed it was time for bed. Augie wanted to sleep in the “big bed” with Grandfather. I said okay. We both looked forward to a restful ten hours of shut-eye. Instead, we had the following conversation, beginning roughly at lights-out.


“Gwandfather?”

“Yes, Augie.”

“Gwandfather, I’m not comfortable.”

“Okay, find a position that is comfortable.

Augie began flopping, rolling and flailing about under – and above – the covers. This continued for about 20 minutes. After that, we had ten minutes of quiet and stillness.


“Gwandfather, I am thirsty.”

“Huh? Oh. Okay. Just let me turn on the water drinking light…”

I snapped on the bedside lamp and picked up the large glass of water I keep beside the bed. I held it out for the boy and he eagerly slurped it up.

“Had enough? Okay then, let’s get back to sleeping. Close those eyes, now,” I admonished gently. I fell into a deep sleep, almost instantly.


“Gwandfather?”

“Yes, Augie?”

“Gwandfather, I dreamed a bear took the underwear off the triceratops horn and ripped them all up.”

"That’s nice. Let’s not worry about that right now, okay? Let’s get a little sleep. How does that sound?"
He agreed and we fell asleep, I think.

“Gwandfather, it is morning. Can we get up now?”

“What the…” I squinted at the clock with sleep-drugged eyes. It said it was 2:20 A.M. “Augie, it IS technically morning, but it is still time to sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s time to get up, okay?"
He agreed and we laid our sleep heads on the pillows once more.

"Gwandfather, I' thirsty."

"Okay, I'll get the water."

"Gwandfather, you forgot to turn on the water drinking light."

"We don't need it.  Just feel around with your lips until you find the glass."

I shoved the water glass in his general direction.  After a few seconds, his little lips latched onto the glass and the slurping resumed.

"Have you had enough?"

"Yes, Gwandfather.  Thank you."

"Okay. G'night, Augie.  Sweet dreams."




“Raaarrrrhhh!.”

"Eeaaarrgggh! What the [bleep] was that?”

“That is the sound my dragon makes.”

Augie held up a shadowy figure of a plush dragon. It was one of a dozen little stuffed friends helping him get comfortable.

“Okay, let the dragon have a little rest, too, okay? Please?” I crashed.

"Gwandfather, what was that sound?"

"Oh, probably just some old man, tying a noose to the ceiling fan. It is nothing to worry about. Now, let’s see who can pretend to be asleep the longest.” [z]


“Snoooorrrt! My nose is clogged up.”

“So I hear. Would you like some nose spray? I have some saline spray to make it better."

He declined, graciously and said he would be fine without it. I collapsed onto the pillow.


"Snoooorrrt!"

"I’m cold."

“Here let me help you get under the covers. If you are still cold, you can snuggle up with me and I’ll keep you warm.”

With that, Augie began wiggling and kicking under the covers. When he stopped an hour later, he was snuggled against my back with his elbows and knees planted firmly in my kidneys and spine. I was still half-asleep and willing to settle.


“My little tummy is growling. It sounds like this: Grrrrrble, Gurgle.”

“Say, that’s a pretty good impression. I guess that means your tummy is sleepy, right?”

“No, that means my tummy is hungry.”

“We’ll have breakfast soon. Just let me lie here awhile longer,” I begged.


“Gwandfather?”

“Yes, Augie?”


“I tooted.”

“Okay, let’s go see what’s for breakfast…”


We walked down the stairs and waded in to a new day. We ate hearty, played indoors and out. I even managed to stay awake long enough to read a story or two. Eventually, the gods showed mercy and Augie’s mother retrieved him.  He pretended he didn't want to go, but I told him we have to bear up under adversity, like big boys.

It was a challenge, but I am happy we did it. It makes the rest of my life seem so much easier.

…