Tips for the Handyman

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On Sunday, I wrote about the new and improved bicycle seat I received for my birthday.   It was a thoughtful gift.  I was eager to install it and say farewell to the “ice pick” style seat I have used these many years.

I went into the garage at first light this morning and studied the installation of my current seat.  It was a simple clamp operated by an Allen screw.  I retrieved the proper wrench and set to work.  After ten minutes, I set out on my first potentially comfortable ride in several decades.

I finished riding a few minutes ago and I want to pass along a few tips to others who might be considering a similar project.  Listen up, men.  (I want to write this while it is still fresh in my mind.)

Tip 1:             The pointy end of the new seat must point directly at the center of the handlebars.  A test ride of, say, 50 feet will help you detect even the smallest misalignment.  No, you cannot detect this small error with the naked eye, but other organs can.

Tip 2:             When properly installed, the pointy end of the seat angles slightly downward.  Under no circumstances should the average male rider trust his eyes to determine the proper angle.  I am just guessing here, but I suspect your personal architecture determines the minimum proper declination of the seat.  Unless you are a colossal fool, test this in your driveway before heading far from home.

Tip 3:             Finally, tighten the Allen screw to “red in the face” torque.  You might save yourself the embarrassment of having the seat tilt forward into a near vertical position, dumping you onto the frame member.  Ouch!  Conversely, you do not even want to imagine the seat spontaneously tilting backward to the vertical, either.  The consequences could be severe.

Tip 4:             Take the Allen wrench with you when you go for your first ride or two.

There you have it.  Follow these simple suggestions and your first ride on your new bicycle seat will be memorable for all the right reasons.  Overlook even one of them at your own peril.

I am keeping this short because I need to soak in a hot tub for a while.  Then, maybe an ice pack…

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