Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Day to Remember

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Memorial Day is a somber holiday, reserved for the living to remember the dead.  Over the centuries, millions of men and women have answered the call to duty and made that great sacrifice.  I thank them and wish them eternal peace.

Memorial Day is also one of my favorite holidays.  I feel I owe it to that long line of patriots to wring as much enjoyment out of the fruits of their sacrifice as practical.  I believe that is a good way to honor them.

With this in mind, I invited friends and neighbors to join me on that special day.  Then, I got busy buying meat.  This year, I selected the traditional beef brisket and added a couple slabs of spare ribs for variety.  Okay, I bought the potato salad and Cole Slaw at the deli or assembled them from purpose made parts.  Sue me.  It was still a feast of the first order.  There was strong drink and a Strawberry aperitif, not to mention four hours or so of storytelling.  I loved it.  Gee, I hope my guests enjoyed our time as much as I did.
The festivities kicked off at 3:00pm and went full tilt until almost dark; say 9:00pm.  Then, holding our stomachs off the floor with our hands, we began to call it a night.  In a few minutes, everyone was gone.  Except for the mile high pile of dishes and a few pounds of leftovers, you could hardly tell there had been a party at all.

I turned off the porch light and headed to bed.  Plopping onto my bunk like a stuffed bear, I stared at the ceiling, waiting for my tummy to rejoin the rest of my body. 

I lay on the edge of sleep for a long while before I heard “Ding dong!”

“What the pf… “  I began.

“Ding dong!”  The bell repeated.

In a food-sleep-induced stupor, I rolled out of bed and stumbled downstairs to the front door.  A dark figure waited for me.  I was wearing my crabbiest face as I threw it open.  You know, it is the one with only one eye open and slobber running down my chin.

“Hey, Hank!”  Mike said.  “Are you still smokin’ meat?”

It was Michael, my neighbor.  He had left only an hour before and I puzzled over what he wanted.

“No.  I went to bed.”  I mumbled.

“Well, I was out on my patio smoking a cigar and relaxing after the feast when I noticed your backyard filled with smoke.  That’s not unusual, if you’re  cookin’ meat.  Then, I began to see the flames down near the creek.  I think maybe your backyard is on fire.”

“Fire?  Where?”  I responded opening the other eye.

Mike jogged through my house and I went with him until we reached the back door.  Throwing it open, I noticed there seemed to be a pea souper of a London fog in my yard.  Michael pointed toward the creek and down low.  There, beneath the Holly plants an angry red flame crawled north along the edge of the creek.

Without a word, we ran for the garden hose reel in the back yard.  I had 100 feet of hose and I prayed the fire was within range.  Michael peeled hose from the reel as I frantically pulled the slack over the fence near the house and into the “back forty” section of the property.  After paying out the entire length of hose, I grabbed the open end and ran.  Meanwhile Mike turned the water hydrant to the full open position.

“Please God; let this hose reach the fire in time, okay?”

As I ran, the hose began to sputter and burp water toward the fire.  I hoped the delivery would speed up before I arrived in the actual flames.  Already, I had a choking sensation from “eating smoke” and the fire seemed to grow, as I got closer.  My eyes were burning too; bless them.

When I saw the scope of the problem up close, I swallowed hard.  The fire was about 60 feet long and 10 to 15 feet wide.  “Not a good sign,” I thought wryly.

Then the water arrived.

Did you know that an established wild fire would not necessarily go out just because someone sprays water on it?  No, apparently, fire can burn inside a log or railroad tie, happy as a clam, while some desperate fool waters the outside of the fuel.  That is why it took more than half an hour to kill the flames.  Then, we spent another 30 minutes spraying for good measure.  When all seemed cold and dead, Michael told me he would keep an eye on my yard from his patio until he went to bed.  I stood around a bit longer, just to be certain.

The apparent cause of the blaze was a bucket of presumably dead ash I emptied earlier in the day.  Not all the ashes were as defunct as I thought the little troublemakers to be.

Henceforth, I shall have a better plan for dead ashes.  I plan to start dumping them in my yard, right next to the hose reel.

On the good side, this is one Memorial Day I shall remember for many decades to come.  After all, how many of us end our holiday standing in their back yard, blackened by smoke and soot and wearing only their jammies?  I felt lucky to be there. 
 Hope you had a memorable Memorial Day, too!





6 comments:

  1. Happy Memorial Day Hank. I know you guys had a great party even if you had a bit of a scare. Looks like you had bombs bursting in air.

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  2. Brings back memories of a 4th of July a few years ago! Now that we live in Texas, Bob and I set off some nice fountains, launched a few spinning/sparking displays, entertained some neighbors, and the police never drove by to bust us (hooray!). After we were confident that all had safely cooled down, Bob dragged the cardboard box of spent Chinese novelties to the garage to save until trash day. About 11:00pm that evening, Bob went out to the "air lock," that small room that contains the washer and dryer just before you walk into the garage. He smelled something cooking. He opened the inner garage door to find it filled with smoke! He pounced on the big garage door button and hurriedly dragged the smoldering box out to the driveway where it burst into flames! And just like you, we (I was out there in a panic with him, at this point) cranked up the hose and doused the flames. My little Z4 convertible, parked in the garage with the top down, smelled like a fireworks display for weeks! A 4th of July memory that we'll never forget! Laurie

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  3. There you go making an ash of yourself. I'll bet you were pretty burned up about it. Three chars for you. BR

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  4. Sounds like you had a "hot time", for sure.
    Smokin' really... at least you weren't up that
    creek without a paddle. Ok, stop now. All right,
    I will. Glad everything is ok!

    E

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  5. ...
    Thanks, guys and dolls. After all that food and drink, it was hard to imagne anything truly evil happening, until it did, of course!

    Gosh, I wish I could learn to type! :)

    I am happy to "hear" from you all!
    ...

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  6. Gosh Hanko! It seems that Pamela and I missed out on the "real" fun part of the evening? We're so glad we did:>) I myself took my full belly home and went to sleep after our last party. So glad, you and Michael were able to save the neighborhood though!
    Mitch

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