Food Fight!

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I recently had time to surf the internet and ran across a story on Yahoo about the worst foods in the country. It was one of those book-promoting stories suggesting instant death if you ate any of several fast food dishes. They even had a list, sorted from bad to worst. The article suggested alternative recipes for each bad thing they mentioned.

I read with great interest, studying the “Bad List” for anything I might have missed. The list of the unhealthy foods read like a who’s who of my favorites. Somewhere in the middle, Arby’s potato wedges stood accused of unhealthy levels of something. The article said they contained “fat.” I think “taste” is more like it. Later, I learned my daughter read the same story and was heartbroken to see those potato wedges on the naughty list. They were her favorites. The chili cheese and onion fries from Chili’s were judged the worst of the lot. I began drooling as I read the list of charges against this greasy delight and resolved to treat myself to an order at my earliest opportunity. It is a tasty job and somebody has to do it.

For each bad food, the article suggested alternative recipes. They were uniformly depressing. How much celery and tofu equals the goodness of a slice of crisp fried bacon? The alternative “Good List” was so ridiculous; I dismissed it as a Communist plot. (Okay, you have to be of a certain age to recall what a Communist plot was, so you will have to trust me on this one.)

I do not know when personal dietary habits became anyone else’s business, but I am not about to change and certainly not for anything containing tofu. Better to dine on Chicken Fried Steak in Hell than eat celery in Heaven. The same goes for listening to good old Rock ‘n Roll versus Harp music, too.

Besides, fat is essential to all life on this planet. Specifically, some fat is essential to my life and the enjoyment thereof. A little alcohol and an occasional cigar can be part of the good life, too. There will never be enough veggie goodness to make me forget about good food, liquor or smoke.

After all, they are three of the four best things in life.

If you have a favorite recipe involving fatty goodness, send it along. The revolution starts here!
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