[Thursday, December 3, 2009]
Here is a phrase I never thought I would write, “Poor Tiger.”
Before the women form an angry mob, let me add I do not condone Tiger's alleged transgression. I believe the Woods’ approached the problem in the traditional way before the press began feeding. Here are some scenarios that might explain everything.
The first possibility is Tiger and Elin were doing the normal billionaire thing at 2:00 a.m. last week. Tiger was driving to the store for milk and Elin was practicing 8-iron shots on the family driving range. Tiger hit the tree while trying to tune the radio to his favorite Country and Western station. Lucky for him, his bride was nearby. Elin freed Tiger from the wreck by smashing in the door of the vehicle with the golf club. From the looks of things, she may have used the entire bag of clubs to pulverize the front of the SUV. She was worried about her spouse. Then the media got wind of the incident. You know the rest.
The second possibility is Tiger’s alleged indiscretion came to Elin’s attention through channels unknown. She and Tiger had a calm, adult discussion of the situation in true billionaire fashion. Tiger took responsibility for his frailty and apologized in the most heartfelt way. Elin shed a womanly tear and forgave her husband, forthwith. They hugged, made-up and rededicated their lives to each other. After a passionate reconciliation, Tiger got in the car to get a pack of smokes. You know… Then, the crash and the rest happened.
The third possibility is the Woods’ household is pretty much like everyone else’s. Somebody ratted-out Tiger and Elin was chasing him down the driveway, eight-iron in hand and blood in her eye. The blood was probably Tiger’s. What is Swedish for “You Bastard!?” Panicked and in fear for his life, Tiger raced down the driveway and into the media grinder. He probably did not even hit the tree. The damage was likely from the golf club(s). Then the media got wind of the incident.
So there you have it. The TV fully informed me. This incident must be more important than the wars and global economic collapse combined. At least that is the perspective I get from the gut-wrenching reports. I cannot wait to learn what Tiger and Elin think.
Oh, wait. Yes, I can.
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Hold that tiger
ReplyDeleteHold that tiger
Hold that tiger
Hold that tiger
Where's that tiger?
Where's that tiger?
Where's that tiger?
Where's that tiger?
BR
After 50 years of medical practice, I've learned that no matter how much money is involved, when the "little head" starts directing the actions of the "big head" serious problems arise. It seems the only solution is to learn how to control the little head so it doesn't take over. The big head should be the one with the power, not the little head. A good, sturdy zipper should help keep the little head under control.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with that theory is that those zippers open so easily. Do they make little tiny padlocks?
ReplyDeleteThe problem with the padlock theory is the locks can be gnawed through - under the proper circumstances and motivation.
ReplyDelete