The Great Debate

 

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I had business in another city on Monday, the first day of August.   The ride from my home to my appointment is about 120 miles, each way.  I wanted to beat as much of the heat as possible, so I set my alarm at around the time the U.S. Marines landed on Guadalcanal.  Well, maybe I slept in a bit later, but 0400 arrived at the same instant I turned out my lights for the evening.

I sipped and guzzled all the tea I could hold, hoping at least one eye or the other would be open for the entire journey.  

As I waited for consciousness to arrive, I snapped on the television and scanned several stations for a report on the definitive issue of our times.  That is right; I was looking for the weather reports.  The first estimate I got was for a high temperature of 105.  No chance for rain and the country might be broke before it got that hot anyway.  Educated meteorologists debated back and forth.

If this were not gloomy enough, the next person guessed the temperature would hit 106.  The Weather Channel posted a 102, I think, and I was on their side, but the screen was too blurry for me to say for sure. 

By the time I left the house at 0730, the high bid was 108 and I felt the weight of summer gloom heavy on my shoulders.  “Why would anyone live here,” I asked myself rhetorically.  “Why indeed,” I answered.  I sped south where the air was 90 at 0900.  “Very symmetrical,” I thought.

In Washington, D.C., The Congress was in full showboat mode, dazzling the people with a full frontal assault of smoke, mirrors and dire predictions.  Many in Texas had bigger fish to fry.  Those fish would be the ones they picked up from the mud where their stock tanks used to be.  Without water, cattle and fish are equally perishable commodities.  You can sell cattle, but you might as well eat the fish.

I arrived home in the middle of the afternoon and collapsed.  Even in a 68-degree cabin, the intense heat dehydrated me.  Two liters of Gatorade later, I was able to collapse on the sofa until the cool of the evening.

Whoever had 107 in the pot won the prize yesterday.  I fear that will not cover it today.  I am guessing 109.  Anybody want the over or under?

I plan to spend today reading brochures from Finland, Yellow Knife, Yukon Territory and other frozen places as a spiritual present to myself.  Later, I may go out for ice cream.

Stay in the shade, my friends.  November and autumn will be here before you know it.

Political Rant #11: Corruption in Afganistan? Oh My!

Does it strike anyone out there as odd that our government has discovered "corruption" in Afghanistan? It seems like a long way to go for such a discovery. What's more, unless the Afghans clean up their act, we may not fight the Al Qaeda-sheltering Taliban any more. I do not know how this situation affects you, but I feel a sick headache coming on. A fist full of Valium washed down with a tumbler of good whiskey might help.


I am what they call "Too Small to Notice," but I believe a massive search might reveal a trace of corruption right here at home. Oh, wait. I got that backwards. Make that a "trace of a search" and "massive corruption." We are two elections away from Congressmen wearing price tags on their sleeves and we will not do business with Afghanistan because THEY are corrupt.

At least we have plenty of native experts in the subject on whom we may rely.

Hey, Sam. Pour me another!

Silent Auction

The Senate Finance Committee voted out a health care reform package today. It has been a long time coming. I expect many weeks will pass before something substantive, and probably disastrous, becomes the law of the land. Why does it take so long? I have puzzled over this question for weeks and I think I have the answer.

Of all the mistakes the Congress might make, rushing to pass legislation before they know who the high bidders are is not one of them. Imagine the embarrassment if a Senator agreed to support provisions favorable to Lobbyist A only to meet Lobbyist B in the hallway with an even larger sack of campaign contributions, better inside investment advice and a more luxurious travel plan. I mean, the Senator would appear foolish in the presence of all his colleagues. As citizens of the various states, we would not want our representatives to lose face in the Congress, would we? Of course we wouldn’t.

The Executive branch has been active, too. The President’s recent selection as a Nobel Laureate has caused the sound of laughter to ring in the halls of my home. Okay, it was my laughter and it may have been maniacal, but this is a priceless image. Imagine a racecar driver, who after driving 200 feet, pulls over and receives a trophy. Someone throws a spray of roses into the cockpit and a beautiful woman leans in for a big kiss. Several magnums (magnae?) of Champagne spew in celebration. Half the crowd goes wild with glee. The other half gapes in stunned disbelief. The driver sheepishly accepts the prize while wondering if he should rejoin the race or slink home in victory.

Please note: I do not believe the Nobel Prize fiasco is the President’s fault, at least not directly. George Will said it best on “George Stephanopoulos.” He said, “This award would destroy the Nobel Committee’s reputation for seriousness, if only they had a reputation for seriousness.” That is as close to a direct quote as I can create.


With thrills and chills like this in life, Halloween is beginning to look like just another day.